Laughing On The Inside.

OK, you all know that I don’t talk much so no long blog entry or tirade here. Just a photo of my only souvenir from our recent vacation at the lovely desert pyramid.

Season’s of love, Believe, The One… decisions, decisions, decisions… I’ve been trying to put this slideshow together for over a week to show the world why I am so in love with this man. What’s the right song? What pictures should I pick and which one’s should I delete? Decisions, decisions, decisions…. Thank heaven I made the right decision 11 years ago. It really was not a “decision” at all.. it was just meant to be. I finally pared this down to 80 photos (it started out as 186). Impossible to condense 11 years of love into a 4 minute slideshow, but I hope you enjoy the moments that I chose to share.

and to all a good night!

If you’ve already read my previous entry, you are probably saying… “I wish Earl could have posted a better photo.”
I agree 100%, Alan’s photo deserves a better showing than my previous photo of the photo… so here it is.. ENJOY!

No, this is not a story from Sophia Petrillo in a lost episode of Golden Girls… it’s a story about a picture (sort of).
I guess it’s been more than a year since I first “encountered” the Alan in some on-line chat room or discussion board or website where we shared a common interest.
His profile said he was from the Philly area (as am I) but he now lived in Upstate NY (as do I). So we shared an occasional “Yo” or “How’s it going?” or a little story about a town/club or other place we might have in common. I would keep an eye on his intriguing photos (he’s a photography student) on his blog and enjoy the commentary that accompanied them (his own comments, or the comments of his legion of fans). Last winter our paths finally crossed but it was awkward since I am kind of shy in a bar setting, towards the spring we had exchanged enough “hey” that we finally managed a conversation, and by the time we met up again at camp we were actually comfortable enough to share some friendly intercourse.
Two months ago Alan was the curator and main artist at a charitable art show/sale called “Bear Art” in Albany. Our friend Sean was also displaying his art (drawings) so JP and I decided to take the trip to Albany. While all of the art on display was great, the piece that I was hoping to see (and buy) was not being shown. It was a photo that Alan had done (a self-portrait) in a style called “camera obscura” that I had seen on his photo journal.
For some odd reason the photo kept calling me… Is it the style (which I’d never seen before), the subject, the calm, or the turmoil? The colors, the contrasts, the simplicity or the complexity? …. or was it the honesty that I felt from the short time I’ve spent with my new friend. I don’t know for sure…maybe it is all of these, maybe it is none… but I wanted to have the photo.
To make a long story short… today I hung my new piece of art. An AngryAlan original photograph… personally delivered to my home yesterday afternoon.. by the artist, who happens to also be my friend.
My grainy photo doesn’t do the photo justice, so next time you stop by ask me and I’ll give you a personal viewing.

Click on the photo for a larger view.

I dedicate this song to the man across the table….. you are everything that I am thankful for.

We’re heading to Ireland tomorrow… see you in a week. Enjoy!

Well it’s 10:20 Sunday night and I just returned home from the weekly Texas Hold ‘em tournament. I’ll save my bad beat story for another day. After the great weekend that I’ve had, we’ll just consider the $25 lost as the cost of hanging out with the guys.
“Great weekend”…is such an understatement.
If you’ve seen my previous entry (or JP’s video) you already know what Friday was like. Another one of those days that I’ll save in the back of mind and pull out of my memory bank when I need a smile. I actaully think that I’ll remember the entire weekend that way. This weekend was all about re-connecting… first with my lover and then with a great bunch of friends in Buffalo whom I’ve stayed away from for too long.
It had been almost 11 months since we last visited the Buffalo Bears when JP told me that he had booked a room for “Bear Trap 3″ for Saturday night. Since I have been traveling for work like crazy, another 200 miles ride was the LAST thing I wanted to do but sometimes I just give up and say “What the f*ck?”
Being unsure of our finances and our travel schedule, we decided to forego the “package deal” that the Bears were offering and instead did Buffalo ala carte.
We checked into the luxurious Hyatt Regency around 3PM Saturday and I immediately took a nap. (I’m sure JP must have been thinking “fun, fun, fun” but I needed the rest as I was running on about 3 hours sleep)
The Bears had included a dinner at The Century Grill in their package deal, but as I mentioned we decided to go ala carte and meet up with our friends later… so I suggested to JP that we go to my favorite Bar & Grill in Buffalo - The Pearl Street Grill and Brewery. We decided to eat at 7:30 after the main crowd died down and it was an excellent choice. The atmosphere was fun and a little rowdy as every TV was tuned in to Sabres/Islanders hockey game. We came to town to get rowdy too, so the sports bar excitement put as in a party mood.
The food was excellent - which I already knew it would be from my previous visits on business trips. Our choices, in case you care:
Spinach Artichoke dip with baked “Pita” bread - more like a soft pretzel dough that was “SUPERB”
I had the Creole Chicken & Shrimp w Andouille Sausage & Rice
JP had one of the specials, Chicken Espanole & Spanish Rice.
Both dishes had a little fire in them, which is why we decided on dessert to cool everything down.
My cheesecake with caramel sauce was creamy and smooth, JP’s peanut butter and fudge tort was obviously homemade with roasted peanut topping.
After a short stop back at the Hyatt, we decided to walk the 1/2 mile to the “Ballroom” to meet up with Steve and Tim and the rest of the Buffalo Bears… (I called it “exercise” but it really was more of a leisurely stroll).
And what can I say about the “ballroom” other than to say the “We had a ball.”
First off, Tim and Steve are two of my best friends in the world. If there was any doubt after an 11 month absence, that was erased after the first of many hugs and kisses. This gathering in Buffalo was an annual event for like minded men from all over the world to share our common experience - but this weekend I felt like the party was just for me.
I’ve probably referred to the “Buffalo Bears” 3 times already in this blog entry - but that’s only because I can’t mention everyone by name without forgetting to mention some of the most wonderful people in the world.
The warm reception that was received from everyone (not only Tim and Steve) was like driving 200 miles to get to my family reunion. Hugs and kisses from Tony & Karl (great music Skabear) and Lee & Nathan, and Bobja, and Justin, and everyone else.
And the new friends that we finally met after years of instant messaging or blogging - like Eric (woofy), and Garbear, and Mugsy were just plain old fun - and some more “fun” than others.
We danced and laughed and just “caught up” until we closed the place after 2am… think we had enough - HELL NO - the after hours party lasted until 4. Even sitting on the floor in the hotel hallway was a hoot. At 4:30am I tried to fall asleep, but I was so revelling in the moment that it was after 5:30 before I finally crashed.
This morning’s only disappointment was having to say “Good bye.” We finally pulled ourselves out of bed to get out by the 11am checkout requirement. We met up with the gang for a farewell breakfast buffet (the 1/2 pound of bacon has not said farewell quickly enough, urgh!) before we had to bid our family of friends adieu.
For some reason the hugs and kisses weren’t nearly as good this morning - probably has something to do with the tears and good byes that were served up with them. But hey, tomorrow’s a work day so we had to come home.
I’ve just noticed that it’s taken me nearly 40 minutes to right this blog entry… and to edit out some things that just weren’t meant to shared. I’ll be happy to keep those few extra moments in my memory banks - to pull up again when I need to smile, or to reminisce about next time I meet up with my best friends….

Yesterday JP and I returned to the place where he proposed to me 11 years ago. It wasn’t planned, it just happened. I left work early and the weather was beautiful so we took the cover off the Jeep and went for a ride into the Adirondacks. It was a PERFECT day.

100% stress free, everything seemed so “right”. We laughed (and cried), we talked, we told each other familiar stories that somehow sounded brand new, we smiled so much during dinner that I felt like the entire restaurant knew that we were in love.
And we took a few photos….